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Denis Ahern's Poem Page (June) |
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Denis Ahern has been associated with the Sail Loft since its first year. Live renditions of his poems are a well received feature of Sail Loft evenings. Usually the subjects covered are bawdy and raucous in nature. This website feature provides a platform for some of his more sensitive works – Stop laughing, you at the back! For this fourth edition he offers one that, how can it be put politely, tends to leave one in a sensative state. We hope you enjoy it because this is one of our favorites. To see his latest poem click below: |
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The Nettle,
Hero of the Hedgerow Scorned and taunted,
shunned un wanted Stood the nettle among
the plants. Never favoured, bouquet
unsavoured, Never picked for a floral
dance. While wild rose climbed
and bluebell chimed And daisy white bespecked
the lawn The lowly nettle in humble
fettle By other plants was held
in scorn. "But," said
the nettle, weed of mettle. "One day these shrubs
will treat me right. "Despite abuses,
I have my uses, "My day will come."
And it did one night. A drunken bum to the
field had come To relieve himself intending. He dropped his pants
and took a stance At an angle forward bending. A moment of calm - then
a great alarm Took those blossoms cowering
under While overhead to compound
their dread A report rang out like
thunder. Then, shame, oh shame,
the torrent came, In liquid and in solid, Pelting down on the flora
round. The smell was something
horrid. Each pretty flower in
that putrid shower In terror thrashed about. In their helpless plight
none could fight 'Til the nettle alone
struck out. Slender and straight
at one-foot-eight Stood the green but rugged
defender And his blow was light
but his aim was right On that callous and gross
offender. With just one touch the
effect was such That bum went fair a-flying. He hit the ground face-side
down In a pile of cow dung
lying. Those flowers bemired
as one admired The nettle's bold behaviour. They held him high and
raised a cry, "Three cheers for
our gallant saviour!" But there were some -
ungrateful scum - The wags of the weedy
classes Who could only say in
their cynics' way, "That nettle kisses
asses." Denis Ahern
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