Denis Ahern's Poem Page

Denis Ahern has been associated with the Sail Loft since its first year. Live renditions of his poems are a well received feature of Sail Loft evenings. Usually the subjects covered are bawdy and raucous in nature. This website feature provides a platform for some of his more sensitive works – Stop laughing, you at the back!

It's been a while since Denis had a poem back on the Sail Loft site so it's with great pleasure that we bring you this latest ditty of doggy humour. There'll be another one along next week.

To see his previous poems click below:

March'05 April'05 May'05 June'05 July'05 Aug'05 Sept'05 Oct'05 Sept'06

Dog Drop

I tranquilly sit this summer night
Admiring my neatly trimmed hedges
The sun sinks low, the sky's still bright,
A tint of red round the edges.
My floral borders, full in flower
My lawn, mowed to perfection
The scene is set for a peaceful hour
Of calm and smug reflection.

Then comes a dog walker, mobile to ear,
Strolling along our highway,
Pausing a while as he draws near,
Close to the end of my driveway.
From his casual pose I judge he's stopped
To let the dog do a spot of excreting
And then stroll on when the matte's dropped.
Such arrogance takes some beating!

Now my view of the hound is obscured -
My hedge, waist high, blocks the view -
But this defecation will not be endured
Whether by Pitbull, Rotty or Kerry Blue.
Although those breeds may give me pause
This is no time to be timorous.
In suburban propriety's cause
There's a dividing line. It's them or us!

Dumping in daylight on my paving!
I'm out of my chair like a shot,
At him full tilt, steaming, raving,
Indignantly proclaiming what's what.
"You and that dog," I angrily bellow.
Then … Oops! I've jumped the gun!
Closer I see more of the fellow
And not his dog - it's his son!

Toddler in harness, not dog on lead,
Is what I couldn't see through the laurel.
Bluster, fluster, could I possibly plead
Insanity to escape this quarrel?
A proud father's wrath's not easily allayed,
I'll be lucky to escape a thumping.
And so a painful price is paid
For a spot of conclusion jumping.

Denis Ahern.

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